“I understand you sell guinea pigs, I want two female ones.” “Well sorry about that but at the moment we only have baby males in stock,” my wife answered. “I know that,” said the woman, “you told me that when I telephoned earlier. But I need females now.” Then she stood there and stared as if we could produce baby female guinea pigs from thin air. Call for Paul Daniels! My wife quietly explained that we only had males and the next litter had only just been born and we do not disturb them for the first week of their lives so we do not know the sex of them yet. “But where are the females? You must have some. You cannot just breed males.” My wife quietly explained that the sex of baby guinea pigs is in the hands of Mother Nature and it is not possible to produce females to order. Also, there is a higher demand for females so they sell quickly or, in our case, we have a waiting list. Eventually we agreed to telephone her when we had saleable females and she went away happy. Unbelievably, she telephoned the next day and asked about buying a male and a female, and was insistent that we should purchase any offspring, if any appeared. I explained that this was wrong on so many fronts, starting with the fact that the female would be permanently pregnant. I explained that no female animal would be permanently pregnant for its entire life by choice. Eventually the penny dropped that this was so wrong and she went back to waiting for two girls.