FROM THE SHOPFRONT
23 August 2010: by Newshound
“How often do you feed goldfish as my fish tank always smells of sewage?” My advice is once a day with an amount that they consume in five minutes. Any left over after that time is a sure indication of overfeeding. “Oh, well the Internet said feed a minimum of five times a day so that is what I have been doing.” I had to repeat at least four times that they were grossly overfeeding and the smell was rotting fish food. Did they listen? I hope so. It always amazes me that people come in for advice, then quote the Internet as if it is the only truth.
23 August 2010: by Newshound
“How often do you feed goldfish as my fish tank always smells of sewage?” My advice is once a day with an amount that they consume in five minutes. Any left over after that time is a sure indication of overfeeding. “Oh, well the Internet said feed a minimum of five times a day so that is what I have been doing.” I had to repeat at least four times that they were grossly overfeeding and the smell was rotting fish food. Did they listen? I hope so. It always amazes me that people come in for advice, then quote the Internet as if it is the only truth.
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FROM THE SHOPFRONT
19 August 2010: by Newshound
Nuisance phone calls, they are driving me mad! About a year ago I registered both my home and business phones with a service that should get rid of such calls and in all honesty I never get double glazing or conservatory salesmen calling the house. Interesting idea to have a conservatory at home, as I live in a first floor flat! However at the shop we get phone calls from people wanting to sell my business, change my phone account, and change my electricity account, gas account (again that could be interesting as we do not have gas). Also clear credit card debt, sell life and health insurance and goodness know what else. The ones that really drive me up the wall are recorded messages. “Do not hang up; this is a recorded message etc.” Why oh why do they phone when I am at the other end of the shop cleaning out fish tanks?
FROM THE SHOPFRONT
16 August 2010: by Newshound
Don’t you just love the customer who asks for fish then stands right in front of the tank so you cannot get to it? Then complains if they get splashed with fish tank water. As if I would do it deliberately!
FROM THE SHOPFRONT
16 August 2010: by Newshound
“How much is a puppy bed?” “Well, it depends on material, size, quality, etc. What size of puppy is it?” “Eight weeks.” “I appreciate that sir but a shitzu needs a different size bed from a great Dane.” “Eight weeks.”
FROM THE SHOPFRONT
11 August 2010: by Newshound
“A bag of Frolic please. How long will it last?” “Depends what you are feeding – a large dog will eat more than a small one.” “It’s a dog,” came the reply.
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FROM THE SHOPFRONT
11 August 2010: by Newshound
A few months ago I wrote about a customer who was buying two 30 litre bags of wood pellet cat litter a week for their one cat. Well this sale has continued week after week. On one Monday my delivery driver took two bags along as usual and was confronted by the customer with a strange request. Apparently they had been storing the used litter in carrier bags at their back door and there were now so many, and they stank, that even environmental health would not touch them. “What can I do?” asked the customer. “Take them to the recycling centre, it’s only just down the road,” said our driver. “Oh no, I couldn’t do that, my husband has a bad back. Surely as you deliver the litter you could take the old used litter away in your van.” The answer she received was not repeatable.
11 August 2010: by Newshound
A few months ago I wrote about a customer who was buying two 30 litre bags of wood pellet cat litter a week for their one cat. Well this sale has continued week after week. On one Monday my delivery driver took two bags along as usual and was confronted by the customer with a strange request. Apparently they had been storing the used litter in carrier bags at their back door and there were now so many, and they stank, that even environmental health would not touch them. “What can I do?” asked the customer. “Take them to the recycling centre, it’s only just down the road,” said our driver. “Oh no, I couldn’t do that, my husband has a bad back. Surely as you deliver the litter you could take the old used litter away in your van.” The answer she received was not repeatable.
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FROM THE SHOPFRONT
10 August 2010: by Newshound
Reading the letters page of pbwnews, I was interested in the letter from the Rabbit Welfare Association. I am sure that our friends in the rabbit food manufacturing business will have something to say on the comments on rabbit foods, however my eye was drawn to a particular section: “…there are over 35,000 rabbits in rescue a year, with the RSPCA confirming that rabbits are the most neglected and abused pet in the UK.” Two thoughts spring to mind here.
Firstly, is the number of rabbits in rescue centres quoted a true figure that can be verified or is it a guestimate? My other thought is how can the RSPCA state that rabbits are the most neglected and abused pet in the UK when they are not a UK wide-organisation? Answers please.
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FROM THE SHOPFRONT14 June 2010: by Newshound
One of our younger customers came in to buy bits and pieces for their new kitten. She was quite adamant that this kitten was a grey and white female that played with feathers on a stick. Innocently, I asked when she acquired the kitten and how old it was. “It’s not born yet,” came the reply, “it’s a secret for mum’s birthday.” “So there we are: my customers can tell the colour and sex of an unborn kitten. Still, as long as they come in and buy toys and treats for it who am I to argue.
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FROM THE SHOPFRONT
9 June 2010: by Newshound
Read in the trade press that the ECMA is very disappointed that the Welsh assembly is banning the use of electric shock collars for dogs. Two thoughts on this. Firstly, anyone who believes that the way to train a dog is to electrocute it should seriously consider if they are in the right line of work. Second, if the people who advocate electric shock collars think they are so good then put one round their necks and give themselves a shock. See how they like it. This type of ‘raining’ is just not acceptable in a civilised society.
9 June 2010: by Newshound
Read in the trade press that the ECMA is very disappointed that the Welsh assembly is banning the use of electric shock collars for dogs. Two thoughts on this. Firstly, anyone who believes that the way to train a dog is to electrocute it should seriously consider if they are in the right line of work. Second, if the people who advocate electric shock collars think they are so good then put one round their necks and give themselves a shock. See how they like it. This type of ‘raining’ is just not acceptable in a civilised society.
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FROM THE SHOPFRONT
8 June 2010: by Newshound
Acquired a new customer recently who has one indoor cat and wanted a delivered supply of 30l wood pellet cat litter. We are currently delivering two bags per week! After a few weeks she started paying with post-dated cheques. I, being me, totally ignored the date and presented them to the bank as normal, and they accepted them. A few weeks later the customer complained to my delivery driver that I was putting the cheques in the bank too early and could I present them only when the date was due. No way, could you imagine what my wholesaler would say if I paid them two weeks in arrears! Or to put it another way, would Tesco accept post-dated cheques?
8 June 2010: by Newshound
Acquired a new customer recently who has one indoor cat and wanted a delivered supply of 30l wood pellet cat litter. We are currently delivering two bags per week! After a few weeks she started paying with post-dated cheques. I, being me, totally ignored the date and presented them to the bank as normal, and they accepted them. A few weeks later the customer complained to my delivery driver that I was putting the cheques in the bank too early and could I present them only when the date was due. No way, could you imagine what my wholesaler would say if I paid them two weeks in arrears! Or to put it another way, would Tesco accept post-dated cheques?
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FROM THE SHOPFRONT
24 May 2010: by Newshound
The other day I received a letter from the performing rights society (PRS) inquiring if I played music in the shop as if I did I would need a licence at a minimum cost of £75. Two days later I received a phone call from them asking if I had received their letter and did I, in fact, play music in the shop – and, by the way, all conversations would be recorded. Well, as the radio was playing in the background I could not tell a fib, so yes I do play the radio in the shop for my own pleasure. I am in the shop 10 hours a day, six days per week so playing the radio cannot be a crime. But how wrong I am, as long as customers can hear it then I need a licence. The caller asked what size shop I had and I think I quoted square metres instead of square feet so I now have a much larger shop than I thought! He then informed me that the licence would cost £400 pa and this could be backdated several years. How much? £400 just to listen to background music and news updates, no chance. So off went the radio for good. I fully agree that performers should receive their just royalties but surely the radio station pays so why should a shopkeeper?
24 May 2010: by Newshound
The other day I received a letter from the performing rights society (PRS) inquiring if I played music in the shop as if I did I would need a licence at a minimum cost of £75. Two days later I received a phone call from them asking if I had received their letter and did I, in fact, play music in the shop – and, by the way, all conversations would be recorded. Well, as the radio was playing in the background I could not tell a fib, so yes I do play the radio in the shop for my own pleasure. I am in the shop 10 hours a day, six days per week so playing the radio cannot be a crime. But how wrong I am, as long as customers can hear it then I need a licence. The caller asked what size shop I had and I think I quoted square metres instead of square feet so I now have a much larger shop than I thought! He then informed me that the licence would cost £400 pa and this could be backdated several years. How much? £400 just to listen to background music and news updates, no chance. So off went the radio for good. I fully agree that performers should receive their just royalties but surely the radio station pays so why should a shopkeeper?
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FROM THE SHOPFRONT
20 May 2010: by Newshound
A customer asks for a six-pack of Pedigree Senior tins, which I duly get from the shelf. “Oh dear,” says the customer. “Haven’t you got one with a happier picture of a dog on it? That one looks sad.” So there we are Mr Pedigree, your senior dog is too sad, get a happy one.
One of my younger customers comes in with her mother and announces that her recently-acquired hamster was born on February 3. “How do you know that?” I ask. “Easy,” she answers. “You told us it was born in February so I put the hamster on top of a calendar opened on February and let it choose its own birthday by waiting for it to poo. Where it pooed was its birthday.” Simple logic I thought.
20 May 2010: by Newshound
A customer asks for a six-pack of Pedigree Senior tins, which I duly get from the shelf. “Oh dear,” says the customer. “Haven’t you got one with a happier picture of a dog on it? That one looks sad.” So there we are Mr Pedigree, your senior dog is too sad, get a happy one.
One of my younger customers comes in with her mother and announces that her recently-acquired hamster was born on February 3. “How do you know that?” I ask. “Easy,” she answers. “You told us it was born in February so I put the hamster on top of a calendar opened on February and let it choose its own birthday by waiting for it to poo. Where it pooed was its birthday.” Simple logic I thought.
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FROM THE SHOPFRONT
10 May 2010: by Newshound
A potential customer comes into the shop to buy a rabbit. After questioning them it is fairly obvious that they understand the basics, however it is also apparent that the person has some personal problems that necessitate them being constantly accompanied by a full-time carer. Do you refuse to sell them a rabbit because you believe that they cannot care for it due to your perception, correct or otherwise, of people with mental health problems or do you sell them the rabbit because you believe they can care for it despite their problems? In case readers are wondering what I did, I sold her the rabbit because I reasoned that her carers would not let anything happen to the rabbit. And it was the right thing to do as we now get regular e-mail updates on its progress!
10 May 2010: by Newshound
A potential customer comes into the shop to buy a rabbit. After questioning them it is fairly obvious that they understand the basics, however it is also apparent that the person has some personal problems that necessitate them being constantly accompanied by a full-time carer. Do you refuse to sell them a rabbit because you believe that they cannot care for it due to your perception, correct or otherwise, of people with mental health problems or do you sell them the rabbit because you believe they can care for it despite their problems? In case readers are wondering what I did, I sold her the rabbit because I reasoned that her carers would not let anything happen to the rabbit. And it was the right thing to do as we now get regular e-mail updates on its progress!
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FROM THE SHOPFRONT
13 April 2010: by Newshound
Another strange request. A customer came in and asked to purchase a small furry toy mouse and three paper bags. Apparently I had sold this particular customer a furry mouse a few weeks ago and had put it in a paper bag. The cat played with the paper bag more than the furry mouse!
A customer asked us to re-home an unwanted hamster. (Maybe I should be a re-homing service and not a pet shop). The person freely admitted she had bought it from a local garden centre but could not be bothered to drive back to it. More like they told her to go away, I thought. Apparently this seven-week-old hamster had eaten its way out of its carrying box on the way home from the garden centre and bitten both children. It then ran around the inside of the car until it found mum who was driving the car at the time and promptly bit her leg. They diverted to the grandparents’ house to clean their wounds and put the charming hamster in a new box. The hamster promptly bit grandma and grandpa. Needless to say over the next few days the killer hamster took chunks out of anyone getting near it, to the extent that the children were terrified of it. And the name of this ferocious beast – NIBBLES!
30 March 2010: by Newshound
A customer came in to buy a rabbit and hutch with all the accessories. During the transaction I asked the young lady what she was going to call her new pet. “Trixie,” she said. “That is what is written on the hutch so that is what I will call my rabbit.”
A customer came in to buy a bag of dog food. “Which one?” I asked. “No idea,” came the reply. “It is the one my daughter buys, you know the girl with the ginger hair.”
A customer came in to buy a pack of five small fat balls. “I bought a pack at Christmas and they have all gone so I have to buy more. Expensive wild birds these!” So there we have it, £1 every two months is expensive feed for the wild birds.
A customer brings two price-marked rawhide bones to the counter. “Thank you sir, that will be £5.98 please,” I said. “How much?” said the customer. “That’s two bones at £2.99, they are priced on the label sir,” I replied. “I will only take one, far too expensive.” “Certainly sir, that will be £2.99, have a nice day.” It amazes me that someone picks up two products that are clearly price-marked and then complains about the price. What did he think two at £2.99 came to?
15 March 2010: by Newshound
I was serving a customer with a new hamster cage and standing at the counter waiting for me was someone with a hamster in a cage. Before I could say, “Be with you in a minute”, the woman with the hamster in a cage said, “You can have this back. My son is completely ignoring it so I have taken it from him.” Before I could get a word in edgeways she turned and walked out of the shop, leaving the hamster and cage on the counter.
What could I do but carry on serving the customer who was actually buying something? “That will be £23.99 madam. Thank you for your business.” Then I examined my acquisition. To make matters worse, not only was it a make of cage that I do not stock but the hamster was definitely not one of mine. So I put it out the back and started to close up the shop for the day.
About five minutes later the phone rang and a young female voice said, “My mum has just brought my brother’s hamster in to you. Well a friend of mine has agreed to take it so I want it back now.” “Fine by me,” I said, “however, we close at 5pm prompt so you have 10 minutes to get here, or we can keep it until the morning.” At two minutes to five a lady, who was well over the age of 16, came in to claim this hamster in a cage. The quickest re-home in history.
18 February 2010: by Newshound
A customer asked for seeds for the garden birds. I directed her to a rather large display of seeds, nuts, fat balls, etc. “Oh no, no, no!” said the customer. “They all say for wild birds, I asked for seeds for garden birds.” As I thought wild birds and garden birds were the same thing I was a little bit flummoxed, but maybe garden birds are what posh people feed and wild birds are what the rest of us feed. So everyone out there in pet trade land: what is the difference between wild birds and garden birds? Let us know.
A customer came into the shop in the middle of the afternoon and asked for ‘Dog stuff’. “Yes sir , what sort of dog stuff? Food stuff? Treats stuff? Toys stuff?” “No idea,” said the customer. “The wife said, ‘go down to the pet shop and get the dog’s stuff.’” Now we are getting somewhere. The wife knows exactly what she feeds the dog on and expects her husband to be as intelligent. What she forgets is that hubby does not have a clue. As far as he is concerned the dog gets fed something but what it is a complete mystery. Best way forward here is to ask the wife. “Is the wife at home sir,” I asked. “Yes,” he replied. “Give me your phone number and I will ring her and see what the right stuff is,” I said. Problem solved and the customer went home with a bag of Omega Tasty.
Good to see our friends at Hill’s going back into the treats market. I saw the range of treats in the vet’s waiting room back in December and wondered when we could get hold of them. Not sure about the gloss black packaging but it certainly looks very different from anything else on the market. At a price point, of £1.49 they should sell quickly. Let’s hope the biscuits are tasty and the customers come back for more. Any product we can sell that is not in the supermarkets is good as far as I am concerned.
A customer asked for a 20 kilo sack of layers mash. “Certainly,” I replied, “that’s £7.95 please. I will go to the store and get one and I will put it in your car. Give us two minutes.” “Last time it had a good bit of wheat in it,” said the customer. “Have you got the same make?” Alarm bells start ringing. Layers mash is a fine powdery product, mixed grains is the one with wheat in it. With a bit of questioning it becomes apparent that what the customer wants is in fact mixed grains. A good shopkeeper has to be a good mind-reader sometimes.
A group of people had been looking round the shop, mainly at the pets, and when they came back through to the till area one of them apologised for upsetting the rabbits. Thinking they had done something dreadful, I asked what they had done. “I was eating a rabbit-shaped chocolate bar,” said one, “then I suddenly thought that this would upset the rabbits, so I stopped eating it.” “Cannibals!” I said as they left the shop giggling.
FROM THE SHOPFRONT
22 January 2010: by Newshound
December was good. Sales up, profits up. Not a lot, but better than expected.
Recent highlights from the shopfront include:
A customer insisted on squeaking every toy until she found just the right one with the right pitch and tone that her dog liked. It is so irritating when children play with the squeakies…but when adults do it!
I had a home delivery to one customer who would not be in to pay me. As she was a regular I said just send a cheque in the post. “Oh no,” she said, “the house key is under the front doormat. Let yourself in and I will leave the money in an envelope in the hall. Just leave the food in the hall and lock up after you. Just do not forget to put the key back under the mat.” Luckily I was not a burglar in a former life.
Like many retailers I buy from a variety of manufacturers and wholesalers. And, like many retailers, I buy an economy dog food by the pallet. To be honest, I absolutely dread when this is delivered as the company is what I term a drop and run carrier. That is, all they are interested in is dropping the pallet on the road and driving off. Any slight problem and the driver doesn’t want to know. I thought I had heard all the excuses under the sun but the last deliverer really took the biscuit. He could not deliver because he could not let the tailgate down because the road was too uneven! Yes that’s right, the road outside my shop is not flat enough to drop a tailgate! The driver actually drove around the village until he found a suitable flat bit of road, dropped the tailgate and then drove back to the shop. And you wonder why I dread these deliveries.
A gentleman came into the shop to pay an account. “Whose name is on the invoice?” I asked. “My wife’s,” came the reply.
A lady asked if we sold bird feeders. “Yes,” I replied, “what sort had you in mind, we have quite a range?” “For birds,” came the reply.
It always amazes me how customers blame the food for every problem their dog or cat has. It cannot be anything else but the food. One lady came in and said that she normally fed her dog on a premium brand of dry puppy food but had decided to change it on to the adult version. The dog was just over a year old so this was the right thing to do. However she stated that this had given her dog an epileptic fit and she was taking it to the vet for advice. Well, I am not a medical person but I am pretty sure food does not induce epilepsy. But no, she was adamant the food was to blame. After talking this through for a few minutes she said that in fact this was the third fit the dog had had. Apparently they were happening virtually every two months. So not the food then, I said, but she was not convinced.
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22 January 2010: by Newshound
December was good. Sales up, profits up. Not a lot, but better than expected.
Recent highlights from the shopfront include:
A customer insisted on squeaking every toy until she found just the right one with the right pitch and tone that her dog liked. It is so irritating when children play with the squeakies…but when adults do it!
I had a home delivery to one customer who would not be in to pay me. As she was a regular I said just send a cheque in the post. “Oh no,” she said, “the house key is under the front doormat. Let yourself in and I will leave the money in an envelope in the hall. Just leave the food in the hall and lock up after you. Just do not forget to put the key back under the mat.” Luckily I was not a burglar in a former life.
Like many retailers I buy from a variety of manufacturers and wholesalers. And, like many retailers, I buy an economy dog food by the pallet. To be honest, I absolutely dread when this is delivered as the company is what I term a drop and run carrier. That is, all they are interested in is dropping the pallet on the road and driving off. Any slight problem and the driver doesn’t want to know. I thought I had heard all the excuses under the sun but the last deliverer really took the biscuit. He could not deliver because he could not let the tailgate down because the road was too uneven! Yes that’s right, the road outside my shop is not flat enough to drop a tailgate! The driver actually drove around the village until he found a suitable flat bit of road, dropped the tailgate and then drove back to the shop. And you wonder why I dread these deliveries.
A gentleman came into the shop to pay an account. “Whose name is on the invoice?” I asked. “My wife’s,” came the reply.
A lady asked if we sold bird feeders. “Yes,” I replied, “what sort had you in mind, we have quite a range?” “For birds,” came the reply.
It always amazes me how customers blame the food for every problem their dog or cat has. It cannot be anything else but the food. One lady came in and said that she normally fed her dog on a premium brand of dry puppy food but had decided to change it on to the adult version. The dog was just over a year old so this was the right thing to do. However she stated that this had given her dog an epileptic fit and she was taking it to the vet for advice. Well, I am not a medical person but I am pretty sure food does not induce epilepsy. But no, she was adamant the food was to blame. After talking this through for a few minutes she said that in fact this was the third fit the dog had had. Apparently they were happening virtually every two months. So not the food then, I said, but she was not convinced.
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